three sisters alderfer park geocaching and picnic field trip…

june 8.  2012

geocaching is such a great idea.  looking for treasures throughout the world in nature, is absolutely an awesome idea to get you outdoors, exercising, and excitement looking for a treasure box to exchange treasures and sign in that you’ve been there.   we had luck finding our first geocache, and then spent an hour on top of three sisters mountain looking for the second, but never found it!  it was fun searching as a group and working together though!

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nadia and flowers…

june 18.  2012

i am so glad i was able to grab this shot of nadia blowing flowers.  living in the mountains, our yard is 1/3 dirt, 1/3 grass patches, and 1/3 weeds and their weedy flowers.  every day when nadia goes outside to play, she always comes in with flowers for me, always!  i’ve gotten purple, white, yellow, and anything else she finds that she thinks is pretty.  i love that she is thinking of me, and i hope she always knows i love her with all of my heart!

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june 17.  2012

as i write from the heart today, and by that i mean some of my thoughts and struggles, instead of the wonderful world outside of myself, i have conflicting feelings.  i write in hopes of reaching one person out there who may be dealing with some of the same battles as myself, but am not in search of people feeling sorry for myself.  dealing with a chronic issue, no matter what it may be, is a journey.  it’s a journey that one has to endure on their own, because it becomes a battle from within.

as i sit here writing this, in bed for the second day, and my heart broken because i couldn’t go to church today with my family, i struggle.  i struggle with the fact that i’m missing out…missing out on time and memories, missing out on fun things, playing outside and running around, and the simple things, making dinners and feeling in control of one’s day.

being in my second month of treatment for lyme, which i have to say how grateful i am to have a doctor who not only treats lyme, but has treated himself for it and it’s gone, i am struggling.  i am struggling with what i know has to happen for me to get better.  the pain and exhaustion on the bad days are almost too much to bear.  if i have a good day, with a dose of energy, i use it up and more, and pay for it the next day.  i love homeschooling my children, and will use all energy to do that everyday, but nothing is left to give after that.  i love our field trips on friday, but will be wiped out the rest of the day.  i know there are lessons somewhere in here that can be learned for myself and my family, but the prideful side of me doesn’t want any more lessons, just to be healed.   the humble side of me has learned that we cannot control everything, but we can merely make the best decisions for ourselves with the Lord’s help, and know that he is guiding us.

one of my thoughts lately is, how does one not feel less than good enough?  how do you live life when you are a bystander, watching it go by?  why is life so hard?  i really know the answer, but i still wonder why.  i can’t imagine life without the gospel of jesus christ, and knowing the plan.  it’s still hard though.

i think one of the most difficult things of having something like this, is that it isn’t seen.  we see things, we understand.  it’s hard to understand something we don’t see, and that we have never experienced.  there’s no familiar name like cancer, which people understand what that means, which can take your life suddenly.  there’s only a name, that few understand, that will take the quality of life slowly, until something will give way, and then your body is no longer able to cope or function until you die.

i know there are challenges of all kinds, and everyone has them.  i only hope, to let that one person out there know, that i understand, it’s not easy, but to struggle means you’re alive, and if you’re alive, there’s purpose to your life.  i hope you and i can continue with purpose, in hopes of feeling good again, and being apart of the life we have chosen for ourselves.

 

echo lake, over 10,000 ft. elevation, absolutely gorgeous!…

june 2.  2012

jarom’s been dying to go fishing, so we headed up past our house, to echo lake.  it’s up about 17 miles of switchbacks.  it’s absolutely breath-taking, absolutely peaceful and beautiful!  we saw a couple of cute foxes on the way up too!  once we got to the lake, (at over 10,000 feet and 40 degrees), it started to sprinkle, so jarom and alex cast a few times, and we headed back down, stopping to geocache too.  it was a fun family day-thank goodness we have some saturdays like this!

 

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denver chalk art festival…

june 2.  2012

the denver chalk art festival was absolutely amazing!  we beat the storm clouds as we came down the mountains, and was able to walk around for probably 45 minutes before they caught up.  then it poured!  all over the art!  we ran inside to a restaurant and ate, and came out, the streets only had a few people in them, and the art was holding up pretty good-don’t know if they were able to continue after that.  so glad we could go see this though!

 

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